All Blacks

Ireland were beaten yesterday before the game had even started. Mary Macaleese our cashmere coated talisman never showed up and the All Blacks stuck out their tongues at us during the haka. We should have retaliated by asking to see their world cup medals or at least doing some riverdance. Then the beat us off the park, they live on the edge of the law - every time the ball goes out the line it skips the first lad who is then in no mans land disrupting the defence. Every time we got the ball we pegged it down to Sivivatu who only has 32 caps and lapped it up. Basically the Blacks are the Kerry and Kilkenny of rugby. No one knows how to beat Kilkenny. Cork's strategy is to whine endlessly about de manager and de quality of de setup like, and de framework going forward in an homage to Roy Keane in Saipan. To beat Kerry you field a Tyrone team that takes no prisoners. Kerry do not like it up em. The same tactics should be deployed on the All Blacks. Why are we the ones getting speared the whole time? Why do we get bet up like Graham Geraghty from Meath against the Aussies? We need to get stuck into them from the outset like Munster done in 78. Is it really only 30 years years ago - seems much longer. Yesterday we failed a moral test. They were bigger and tougher and street wiser. The same thing happened me once - against Finchley Northern colts in 1980. They were dirty, cheating, cockney, Brit bastards. I did the decent team and gave up playing.

Diego Garcia plays its part in the War on Terror

Anxious to do its bit, tiny island Diego Garcia plays host to rendition flights as reported last week. The Brits were none too happy to find out there terror-tory was being used in this way by their wayward unter-partner in world policing. When will the sepos ever learn?

Of course this lark has being going on for ages down in Rynanna - pretty soon only the GIs will be using the place. Not only have the Russians given up flying to Cuba but even Aer Wingless has seen the light.

Of course if we told the yanks to fuck off and not be pissing on our soverignty/neutrality/dignity then all the pharmas and software firms would pack up and take their jobs to the next nearest tax haven, or would they?

As softheaded lefties like Vincent Browne has been repeating for ages we don't have politics here we just have managerialism. Unlike the beloved Fronch (who have their own dirty tricks department and private wars unit but won't help George W) Ireland has no national project, other than to continue doing all right Jack. We are the Diego Garcia of the northern hemisphere.